I'm not huge on memes but I love making lists, so when The Broke and the Bookish began Top Ten Tuesday I knew I'd eventually succumb. Top Ten Tuesday is an original feature/weekly meme created at The Broke and the Bookish. This meme was created because, like me, they are particularly fond of lists.
Top Ten Books I'll (probably) NEVER Read:
1. Ulysses - James Joyce: This is probably the most intimidating of all novels. I just can't see myself picking it up. In a related note, I am currently reading The Penelopiad, which Margaret Atwood wrote for The Canongate Myth Series and tells Penelope's (wife of Odysseus) side of the story. I'm enjoying it very much.
2. Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert: This book is probably the biggest cliché of all time. It would probably just make me angry and annoyed.
3. Gravity's Rainbow - Thomas Pynchon: I read The Crying Lot of 49 in college and loved it. It probably helped that the professor who taught it was amazing. While Pynchon is a literary genius, Gravity's Rainbow scares me.
4. Any and all future books written by James Patterson. Because I hate James Patterson, Inc.
5. The Lord of The Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien: I didn't enjoy the movies and I've decided the series isn't for me.
6. Clarissa - Samual Richardson: I read Pamela in college. It's one of the most boring books I've ever read and I have absolutely no interest in tackling Clarissa. Richardson just isn't my thing.
7. I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell - Tucker Max: Because I hate assholes and am not interested in supporting their debauched behavior.
8. The Iliad or The Odyssey - Homer: The only way I would get around to reading these books was if I were trapped somewhere for many days and only had these novels for reading material. I"m just being honest
9. Angles and Demons and The Lost Symbol - Dan Brown: Because Dan Brown is the most overrated author there is and The Da Vinci Code was just a sad excuse for a book.
10. Mein Kampf - Adolf Hitler: I just won't.
Great list.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on Ulysses. Read Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and I wanted to off myself.
Now i've read the Illiad at least five times and it's a terrific read (long as you find a translation that isn't too stuffy).
I have 26 pages left of Gravity's Rainbow, and I'm still terrified of it...I hate it. Absolutely despise it. Can't wait to finish it. After this experience, I'll probably never read Ulysses either. Boo. Good list!
ReplyDeleteI seriously wish I'd never read Eat, Pray, Love. It definitely made me angry and annoyed!
ReplyDeleteI like The Lord of the Rings, but it's not for everyone so I can understand why you'd list it!
Mayowa, Maybe I spoke too soon about Ulysses?
ReplyDeleteGreg, Kudos to you. I don't think I would have hung in there until the end.
Kelly, That's good to know! I've only ever heard great reviews of Eat, Pray, Love (except for after the movie came out).
I read Eat, Pray, Love last year for a book group, and I expected to hate it. I could have done without the Pray section, which just bored me, but the other sections were not that bad. Or maybe I just liked the other sections because I want to go to Italy and Bali. Of course it would be so much nicer if I had a publishing deal and someone paid me to do it.
ReplyDeleteI do get turned off by these books that seem to be the book club phenomena. I HATED The Memory Keeper's Daughter, which was a bestseller forever, and I don't get all the love for Water for Elephants. Sometimes I think the publishing companies (and writers, even) are so calculating and are specifically looking for books to push to book clubs. A lot of them seem so formulaic.
Karen, I think you are spot on with that assertion. Many of the best sellers are quite formulaic - geared toward book clubs and marketed as literary yet woman-friendly.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about trying to avoid memes but it's so hard to resist the pull of list making.
ReplyDeleteI love your 1 & 2. They both made it on my list as well. And I've already read most of LotR but I think I can say I'll never finish it. Great list!
Good list, Brenna, and your reasons why make sense too. I pretty much agree with all of your selections; especially Joyce, Pynchon, Richardson, and Hitler. Joyce and Pynchon I tried, I truly did; it just never took. Tolkien I like, but I understand your reasons; probably the same reasons I won't dive into the Harry Potter pool.
ReplyDeleteHomer I dig. But I recognize that it is a serious commitment, and one needs to be in the right frame of mind make that commitment. Homer, Virgil, and the ancient Greek playwrights were on my "Never-to-Read" list until this year. While I probably was not ready for them before this, I now realize that they are absolutely amazing, and truly are the literary treasures of all Humanity.
Keep reading and writing, Brenna; and have a wonderful week! Cheers!
Great list! I agree with you on number 7. I could never read something written by a self proclaimed asshole about his behavior as such. I can't believe it got published.
ReplyDeleteChristopher, Maybe one day I'll be able to commit to Homer, I just don't see it in my near future. Not even close. Perhaps it's not fair for me to write him off so early in life, his work is just so daunting.
ReplyDeleteMJ, I can believe it was published! Think about all those fraternity assholes out there - it's like their Bible. That's a whole new demographic of readers (if you can call them that) who hadn't been tapped into until Max Tucker came along.
To save you all that have listed Ulysses I have sacrificed myself and can tell you that it is not an enjoyable book at all.
ReplyDeleteSuzanne, Thanks for sharing! Sometimes I wonder if I am skipping an epic work I would find fascinating. I'm still thinking not...
ReplyDeleteYour number 2 and 10 made my list as well, I'd never read anything by Hitler, nasty, hateful man.
ReplyDeleteI'm sad you didn't like The Lord of the Rings, I loved the books and the movies.
Ulysses made it onto my list, and I considered The Iliad/The Odyssey but thought, well, maybe *some* day...lol.
ReplyDeleteMy list could probably be your list, minus Ulysses, only because I've already read it, ha.
ReplyDeleteMy list could probably be your list, minus Ulysses, only because I've already read it, ha.
ReplyDeleteDaisy, I just couldn't get into the movies. They seem so long and dragged out and... yawn. But I can understand where the appeal is.
ReplyDeleteDanya, Maybe! Although I can say with some certainty probably not for me :)
Mein Kampf made my list as well. I love The Lord of the Rings, but I can understand it not being for everyone (there are sections I'm not afraid to tell you I skipped).
ReplyDeleteEat Pray Love made my list as well. I thought I'd offend someone, but it seems that quite a few of the book bloggers out there don't like it/refuse to read it. I almost put The Lost Symbol on my list.
ReplyDeleteHilde, That's the other thing, the prose just seems so dense. But thanks for admitting you skipped certain sections! I would probably do the same thing.
ReplyDeleteLoni, Eat Pray Love has been on a lot of lists! It makes me happy :)
Haha, nice list. I'm with you on Eat Pray Love and of course, Hitler's book. I liked the LotR books myself, but couldn't make it through the books.
ReplyDeleteI actually enoy Dan Brown as a popcorn book author, but I don't blame you for skipping The Lost Symbol. Honestly, he's been writing the same book over and over again with different setting since Deception Point.
I read Pamela too .... one of the worst experiences of my life. I think it's pretty safe today I will never go anywhere near Clarissa.
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by my blog on Top Ten Tuesday. I could agree with you on a few books. I stopped reading Eat Pray Love half way through, couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't finish Angels and Demons, though I slogged through The Da Vinci Code. I considered adding Ulysses to my list, too, but then I went way-political and only added a few "regular" books.
ReplyDelete*New Follower
I don't think I've ever agreed with a list more! Ulysses and Gravity's Rainbow both intimidate the heck out of me, and Eat Pray Love makes me want to barf, as does anything that Tucker Max has ever done.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, the Peneolpiad sounds really interesting. I've been wanting to read some Atwood recently, and this sounds like just the thing.
-Emily @ Reading While Female.
Definitely with you on Dan Brown, James Patterson and Homer! I had to read part of The Iliad for school and that was enough to know that I never want to go back. And I love what you said about Tucker Max. Guy is a douche.
ReplyDeleteKayla and Cyna, I could actually understand liking Dan Brown for popcorn. He might be the best of the worst.
ReplyDeleteIngrid, I'm glad you agree! It was really horrible!
Anne, I almost went that way myself but stopped... I didn't want to offend anyone!
Emily, Haha! You're awesome.
1girl, Douche sums him up about right!
Thanks for dropping by mine.
ReplyDeleteI liked the Da Vinci Code well enough, but detested Angels & Demons (actually didn't finish it because it put me off)...I won't be reading another Dan Brown.
Trust me, you're not missing much if you avoid Ulysses. I read it. I still can't tell you what it's about. I just did not get it.
Brenna, you stole my list...except for Eat Pray Love which I did read...the cover was so enticing, sad to say.
ReplyDeletehaha I love the way Mein kampf is stuck at the end there.
ReplyDeleteBev, That's good to know! I can say with a lot of certainty I won't ever have interest in reading Ulysses.
ReplyDeleteBybee, Great minds think alike :)
Jessica, I know... I was on number 9 and had trouble thinking of another one. then Mein Kampf came to mind and I thought, perfect! I won't ever read that!
I totally agree with Ulysses, I tried it once, but the book ended up getting returned; I think I got hold of a bad edition. All I remember is the booger picking scene. Also with Eat, Pray, Love, it got too low a rating on amazon.com for me to even attempt it :P. Also with James Patterson, I don't like the mystery genre.. I know that the characters will find the suspect in the end.
ReplyDeleteAs for Angels and Demons, and The Da Vinci Code, they were really good books. You should also definitely give The Odyssey a try, but make sure you get a hold of the translation by Richmond Lattimore (his translations are amazing!).
Lol your list made me laugh! I feel exactly the same about Eat, Pray, Love and Mein Kampf and the Tucker Max book. Ulysses, I am kind of bolstering myself up to try and read it at least by the end of next year. I am not at all sure about Homer though. You should give LOTR and Angels and Demons a shot. Both are awesome. If you like the Harry Potter series then there is a very good chance that you will like LOTR.
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